Fathers and Sons

Really great advice, I think. It has been fun to watch the relationship grow between my husband and my son. He is only 11 months old, but there is a special bond there.
Most of the quotes that were highlights for me were already shared by Kerri, but I will add one more that stuck out to me:
-"We are all in the process of becoming who we will one day be."  (I keep trying to add a sentence or two, but nothing is coming out right tonight...so I am just going to leave it at that :) )

Love and Law

This was a good talk for me. I am struggling to be consistent in discipline and this gave me some encouragement to do better. God, as our Heavenly Father, the perfect example of parenthood, is unfailingly consistent. The more I think about it, the more I know it is an important aspect of being a parent.

My favorite parts:

• "If only we will listen, we can know of God's love and feel it, even when we are disobedient....'He has always been there for me, even when I rejected Him'" I love that it is always up to us-no matter what, He is always there-we are the ones that determine the distance between God and ourselves.
• D&C 130:20-21 "And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated." Another consistency factor: we obey the commandment, we get the blessing.
• "The effect of God's commandments and laws is not changed to accomodate popular behavior or desires." Again, consistency.
• I liked that he placed unmarried cohabitation as a more serious issue than alcohol and drug abuse. With the media coming at us from all angles, we are desensitized to a lot of sins, but when it comes down to it, they are still sins-always have been, always will be.

Fathers and Sons

I almost skipped this talk because I'm not a father and I don't' have any sons. But I read it. It's exactly what I'd want a member of the 12 to say to my teenage son if I had one, and what I'd what the same member of the 12 to say to my husband.

My highlights:

• "When you put your trust in your dad [or any person, I'd add], he will feel the responsibility of that trust and try harder than ever to understand and help."
• "First, fathers, listen to your sons—really listen to them. Ask the right kind of questions, and listen to what your sons have to say each time you have a few minutes together. You need to know—not to guess but to know—what is going on in your son’s life. Don’t assume that you know how he feels just because you were young once." I think these same principles apply to mothers and their interactions with their children.
• "A one-on-one relationship should be a routine part of your stewardship with your sons [and I would add daughters]. Every father needs at least one focused, quality conversation with his sons every month during which they talk about specific things such as school, friends, feelings, video games, text messaging, worthiness, faith, and testimony. Where or when this happens isn’t nearly as important as the fact that it happens. " I don't think we can wait until our children are 12 to start this kind of relationship. 1:1 time needs to begin early.
• "Remember, conversation where you do 90 percent of the talking is not a conversation." Funny, that's what happens most of the time at my house. No one around here talks very much. It think it causes problems.
• "Use the word “feel” as often as you comfortably can in your discussions with your sons." Great advice. I think I'll try it.

Up next: To Acquire Spiritual Knowledge by Elder Richard G. Scott

Love and Law

This is the talk that replays in my mind over & over. I understood some of the concepts on a deeper level as I contemplated it in the temple and thought about how our loving Father in Heaven fulfills his role as a parent. Some of the consequences he allows or even causes to happen must cause him the deepest anguish. I want parenting to be all about gentle love, happiness, and joy. I acknowledge the need to discipline, as I've studied it at a worldly perspective. But this talk has made me recognize the divine, eternal responsibility I have to withhold the laws of my home by enforcing consequences. Sometimes I just don't want to do it. It's easier is the short run not to do it. But now I'm seeing the grand significance of being "the meanie."

"In the midst of such stress, we must endure the reality that the straying of our loved ones will detract from our happiness, but it should not detract from our love for one another or our patient efforts to be united in understanding God’s love and God’s laws." We're not dealing with teenage rebellion or serious sin in our home, but this quote helped me grasp that sometimes the poor choices my children make & the consequences I have to enforce will decrease my level of happiness for a time, but that's just the way it is. I sometimes want to keep my emotions out of some aspects of parenting, but that's not really how it works.

Here are the quotes that sum this talk up for me:

"In teaching and reacting to their children, parents have many opportunities to apply these principles. One such opportunity has to do with the gifts parents bestow on their children. Just as God has bestowed some gifts on all of His mortal children without requiring their personal obedience to His laws, parents provide many benefits like housing and food even if their children are not in total harmony with all parental requirements. But, following the example of an all-wise and loving Heavenly Father who has given laws and commandments for the benefit of His children, wise parents condition some parental gifts on obedience."

"Real love does not support self-destructing behavior."

"There is no area of parental action that is more needful of heavenly guidance or more likely to receive it than the decisions of parents in raising their children and governing their families. This is the work of eternity."

I will discipline my children and hold them accountable because I love them.